Back in Kansas Read online

  Claudie didn’t want to be rude, but she couldn’t help wondering what this had to do with her.

  As if reading her thoughts, Ruth said, “Claudie, dear, the point I’m trying to make is that my son is a smart man, but he’s never looked very deeply into what drives him. Bo has a number of issues to deal with where his father is concerned, and I’m afraid he won’t do that if you’re here.”

  Claudie sat back. She wants me to leave. “Have you talked to Bo about this?”

  It was Ruth’s turn to look away. “I wanted to speak with you first. If you’re determined to stay, I won’t stand in your way. As I said…” She reached out and touched Claudie’s hand. “I want what’s best for my son, and I honestly believe you’re that person—just not at this moment.”

  Is she right? Is my being here keeping Bo from dealing with his problems? Maybe that’s what Bo meant when he asked me to leave.

  Claudie looked at Ruth’s hand still resting on her own. Deep down she knew Bo’s mother was right. Hard as it would be, Claudie had to let Bo deal with his own problems first.

  She rose. “I’ll call the airport about a ticket. But,” she looked sadly at Ruth, “I can’t just leave without talking to Bo.”

  Ruth nodded in agreement. “Of course not. Matt’s going to the hospital, so he can take you there as soon as you’re ready.”

  Claudie rose. “I should get organized.” She started to step away, but paused and impulsively asked, “Ruth, could I borrow that photograph of Mike, uh, I mean, Bo? The one on the mantel? I’ll make a copy and send it back.”

  Ruth cocked her head, curious no doubt about Claudie’s gaff. “Of course, dear. Keep it. I’ve been trying to give all my photos to Bo for years, but he wouldn’t take them.”

  Claudie started to leave but stopped at the doorway. “I really hope Mr. Lester gets well soon.”

  “Me, too, dear,” Ruth said, softly. “For all our sakes.”

  BO LIKED his father’s new room. Without the wall of high-tech equipment behind the bed, Bo felt reassured his father’s health was improving.

  Not that you can tell by looking at him, Bo thought.

  Robert was still unconscious. A new bandage had replaced the old. Bigger, but more evenly conformed. His face looked bruised, with dark smudges beneath each eye. His long narrow cheeks were sunken, but the breathing apparatus was gone, as were the many tubes.

  The doctors predicted a full recovery—although none would speculate how long that might take. What that meant for him and Claudie—whose lives were in California, Bo didn’t have a clue.

  Claudie. An image of her, naked in his arms, her breath coming in short, sweet bursts as she climaxed, caught him in the solar plexus.

  He’d just talked to his mother and she said Claudie was on her way to the hospital. With any luck they could grab a few private moments in the coffee shop or the chapel. Maybe they could…

  The sound of the door opening interrupted his wayward thoughts. And the focus of those thoughts walked in.

  “Hi, there, sleepyhead,” he said walking to her. Her hair was messy from the breeze and her cheeks still held a kiss of winter. “How are you?”

  He started to put his arms around her, but she sidled to the left. She crossed to the window and stood with her back to him. She kept her jacket on, he noticed, despite the locker room heat.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, starting toward her.

  “Matt’s driving me to the airport, Bo. My plane leaves in two hours.”

  Baffled, Bo shook his head. “What are you talking about?”

  She took a deep breath; her hands fluttered nervously. “I called the airport and apparently the Thanksgiving rush has started, plus the storm last night compounded things. The only seat available before Friday leaves in two hours. I…took it.”

  A panicky sensation made his underarms tingle. “Why?”

  Her shoulders lifted and fell.

  Bo cleared the distance between them. He put out his hand but didn’t touch her. “Claudie, is this because I left so abruptly last night?”

  Her eyes flashed in anger. “Of course not. I know what an emergency is. You were…you are needed here. And I have to get back to work. To One Wish House.”

  Bo threw his hands out. “Now? You’re leaving now? Didn’t last night change anything?”

  She flinched. “For me, it did,” she said softly. “I’m not sure what it meant to you.”

  He blew out a sigh of relief. Jitters he could understand. They’d missed that whole waking up in each other’s arms thing. He took her by the shoulders. “If we could find a quiet corner, I’d show you what it meant to me,” he said playfully.

  She jerked free of his touch. “Bo,” she said, sharply. “This is a hospital. That’s your father.”

  “Yeah, I know. Don’t remind me. They’re starting to decrease his medications. He’ll be back on his feet in no time—although it may be a while before he goes skating again.”

  Bo was watching Claudie’s face; he swore he saw a flicker of sadness or regret that reminded him of their time in Kansas. “Claudie, what’s this about? Really?”

  “I talked to your mother this morning. She’s worried about you—your feelings toward your father.”

  Bo shrugged. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

  “Yes. And we both know you’ll stay as long as your mother needs you, but she thinks having me here will be a distraction.”

  Bo snickered and pulled her close. “She’s right. A beautiful one.”

  Her sigh warmed his chest, but a shiver passed through his body. Instead of melting against him, she held herself back.

  “That’s what I was afraid of.” She touched his cheek. “Bo, last night was the most wonderful experience of my life. But every moment we’re together is one less chance you have to fix this thing between you and your dad.” She took a breath. “You can’t keep putting this off, Bo. I know what I’m talking about.”

  Bo pulled back. A heavy weight pressed on his chest. He spun on his heel and strode to the window. “This isn’t the same as with you and Garret.” He gestured toward the figure on the bed. “That man was a lousy father and a pathetic excuse for a husband but he never smacked me around or anything. Hell, half the time he acted as if I didn’t exist. Besides, what does that have to do with us? It’s ancient history.”

  “Is it, Bo?” she asked. “I don’t think so.”

  Before he could go to her and take her in his arms, the door opened. Matt popped his head in and looked around. “Claudie, if you want to make that plane, we have to go. Traffic’ll be a bear.”

  She nodded and started to leave, but Bo intercepted her. “Wait. You can’t go. Not after last night.”

  She kept her chin down. “I have to.”

  The scent of her cologne filled his nostrils, bringing with it a memory of her uninhibited response to his lovemaking. “You can’t just leave me, Claudie. Good Lord, woman, I tracked you all over hell to be by your side when you needed me. Now you want to take off like a scared rabbit the minute things get too intense.”

  “That’s not why I’m leaving, and you know it.”

  He ignored the pain he heard in her plea. “No, I don’t. Last night was real, Claudie. Maybe too real for you.”

  He thought for a moment she might change her mind, but instead she reached up and removed her locket. She held it out to him.

  Bo kept his fists tightly clenched at his sides, but she reached down and took his hand in hers. “Open,” she ordered.

  When his fingers unfurled, the gold chain spilled into his palm. The locket felt warm and heavy. His heart lifted and fell. His sinuses prickled from the emotion churning within.

  “I’m trusting you with my heart,” she said, rising up on her toes to press a quick kiss to his numb lips. Then she left.

  Blinking at tears that refused to go away, he closed his fist around the talisman. He clasped it to his chest, as a racking pain drew out a long groan.

  A noise made him l
ook up. His father’s eyes were open and he seemed to be staring at Bo.

  Bitterness rose up like bile and Bo growled, “Are you satisfied now? You weren’t content to ruin the first forty years of my life, you had to screw this up, too.”

  BO WAS SITTING AT THE FOOT of the bed dully threading Claudie’s necklace between his fingers when his mother walked into the room.

  “She’s gone,” he said flatly.

  Ruth took off her coat, laying it neatly over the back of a chair. “Yes, I know. Matt took her to the airport. Both Matt and Claudie care a great deal about your welfare. You know that, don’t you?”

  He shrugged, not really listening.

  “Robert B. Lester, Junior,” his mother said sharply. Bo so rarely heard that tone of voice he almost jumped to attention. “I’d appreciate it if you’d listen when I’m talking to you.”

  Bo called that her librarian’s voice. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “What did you say?”

  She pulled up a chair beside the bed and sat down.

  “Do you remember when your Grandmother Lester passed away?”

  Bo shook his head. “No, I can’t say as I do.”

  “Pity. It might have helped you deal with this.”

  Puzzled, Bo looked at her. “Why?”

  “Your father acted the same way you’re acting right now. He pushed me away when I tried to help him. It wasn’t six months later that he had his first affair.”

  Bo gaped. “You knew about it?”

  She gave him a droll look. “Just in case you’re ever tempted to cheat on Claudie, let me tell you—the wife is not the last to know. Not if she’s paying attention.”

  Bo couldn’t have been more stunned if his father suddenly jumped up and started dancing a jig. “I don’t get it. Why’d you stay with him all these years?”

  Ruth sighed and looked at the man in question. “I loved him, son. I still do. The heart doesn’t always listen to what the head says.”

  Bo knew that for a fact. His head had been telling him for years that he hated his old man, but here he was—waiting, hoping, caring. He couldn’t say for sure what he expected once his dad opened his eyes—they’d been strangers to each other for years.

  “Who’s Mike?” his mother asked.

  Bo’s nerves scattered like quail. “What?”

  “You heard me. Claudie asked if she could take Mike’s picture with her when she left. It was a slip, but it made me wonder.”

  Bo smiled. “It’s nothing. We were joking around.”

  He could tell by her look anything short of the truth wasn’t going to fly. “I was kinda chubby in that picture, and she couldn’t believe it was me, so I told her it was really my twin brother, Mike.” Talking about Claudie and last night brought him perilously close to panic. She’s gone.

  “I always regretted that we couldn’t have more children,” his mother said wistfully. “I think it would have made your childhood so much easier. Growing up the way you did probably made you feel like a bug under a microscope.”

  He lifted one shoulder. “It wasn’t so bad, Mom.”

  “No, but it wasn’t so good in some ways. I remember the day you were born. Your father was so proud. He called a buddy of his at the Times and asked for a whole column to announce your birth.”

  Bo snorted skeptically.

  Ruth sighed. “Bo, your father and I both made mistakes. In our marriage and with you.”

  “You’ve been a great mom.”

  She reached out and patted his hand while shaking her head. “I’ve always been more comfortable around books than people, but your father thrived on public attention. Sometimes I wonder if I acted out of pure selfishness. When he wasn’t around, I was free to read, to study, to escape into my books. Perhaps, I’m the one who was unfaithful first.”

  Bo was stunned by her confession. “Mom, it’s not the same…”

  She cut him off with a sharp gesture. “Yes, it is. If you love someone, you try to meet their needs, and you hope they’ll meet yours. If you don’t meet them halfway, you have no right to expect them to be there when you’re ready.”

  Her words sounded ominous, a portent of the disaster he’d created in his own love life. Claudie had tried to help him in the way she thought best, and he’d yelled at her. Accused her of being a coward.

  When he started to rise, Claudie’s locket slid to the stark white blanket. Claudie’s mother’s locket—the most precious thing she owned.

  “She gave me her heart,” he whispered—his voice cracking.

  “So you could find your way home to her,” his mother said softly.

  Blinking at tears that refused to go away, he closed his fist around the talisman. He clasped it to his chest, as a racking pain drew out a long groan. His mother enveloped him in her arms. “It’s okay, baby. Everything will be okay.”

  MIDWAY THROUGH the movie she wasn’t watching, Claudie grabbed the glossy in-flight magazine from the seat pocket in front of her and flipped through it searching for a map. She used her right index finger to mark New York, then traced one of the myriad lines to San Francisco.

  If this is us, we fly right over Kansas.

  As discreetly as possible she opened the plastic window shade beside her. She was tucked in a corner and no one grumbled when she opened it so she guessed she was safe. Pressing her nose to the window she peered below. Nothing but a gray blur. Either they were too high or low-level clouds were blocking her view.

  With a sigh, she closed the shade. She felt restless, yet lethargic. Anxious and tense, but numb. She couldn’t identify her problem. Lonely? Lost?

  People without family or friends were lost. But she had both—somewhere a mile or so below her.

  Impulsively, she reached out and took the phone attached to the seat ahead of her out of its plastic receptacle. She dug in her purse for her credit card, then followed the instructions to place a call. This would cost her a fortune, but she didn’t care. She found the number she’d tucked in a secret pocket of her billfold and punched in the sequence.

  The voice that came on the line was so clear Claudie almost dropped the phone. “Sherry?”

  There was a pause. “Yes. Who’s this?”

  Claudie’s mouth went dry. “It’s me. Claudie.”

  Her sister’s loud wail seemed to echo in the cabin. “Thank the Lord. He heard my prayers.”

  Claudie blinked in confusion. “What?”

  “I was just praying you’d call. We had a really bad night last night and I’m home alone and I was feeling really blue and—”

  Claudie could hear her sadness. “What happened?” Boyfriend troubles?

  “We had to take Daddy to the hospital. He was in a lot of pain the past few days, but he wouldn’t go to the doctor. Finally, it was just so bad I started crying and he gave in.”

  Claudie’s stomach twisted. “What do the doctors say?”

  Her sister’s voice became soft and childlike. “They’ve contacted the hospice, Claudie. I just came home for his Bible. We left in such a rush last night, we forgot it.”

  Claudie heard her start to cry. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I’m probably pretty close to you right now. I’m in a plane on my way home. Do you think they’d care if I opened a door and jumped out? Maybe I’d land on your house.”

  Her silliness brought a giggle on the other end of the phone. “I’d catch you in my butterfly net. Daddy and I used to catch all kinds of bugs and butterflies for my entomology studies. I always caught the prettiest ones.”

  Claudie swallowed against the lump in her throat. “Sherry, I’m sorry Garret’s taken a turn for the worse. Give him my…tell him I…” She didn’t know what to say. It was too soon.

  Sherry rescued her. “I’ll tell him you called. It will make his day.”

  Claudie’s eyes filled with tears. “I’ll call again as soon as I’m home.”

  They exchanged a few more words then Claudie hung up the phone. She peeked out the window again. The man she thought she hated was
dying, and she felt like crying. The man she loved was half a continent away.

  Claudie glanced at the movie screen and saw the beautiful leading lady in full bridal regalia kiss her groom. If she’d had anything in her hand, she’d have thrown it. Happy endings were for movies and romance novels. Real life was a whole different story.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “CLAUDIE,” A VOICE CALLED the instant she stepped into the terminal of the Sacramento airport.

  Totally unprepared for a greeting party, it took Claudie a few seconds to pinpoint the sound. Sara and Brady rushed to meet her.

  Brady barreled into Claudie, nearly knocking her over. She scooped him up.

  “Oh, Brady-boy, I missed you so much,” she cried, emotion choking her almost as much as Brady’s arms around her neck.

  A moment later, he wiggled free, and she set him down. He rattled off something too fast for her to catch then beamed at his mother expectantly.

  “He wants to know if you’ll read to him tonight. He missed you. We all did,” Sara said, giving Claudie a warm hug.

  Claudie’s heart expanded but she still couldn’t figure out how Sara knew to meet her plane. Had Bo called?

  As if reading her mind, Sara said, “Matt called. He was worried about you. He sounds like a nice guy. Brady…” Distracted, she dashed after the little tyke. “Let’s get your bags. We can talk in the car.”

  Brady was asleep before they hit I-5. Claudie couldn’t keep from smiling at his cherubic face. She definitely wanted children. She hoped Bo felt the same way. If he was still speaking to her that is…

  “Could I use your cell phone?” she asked, suddenly desperate to hear his voice. “I should let Bo know I got home safely.”

  “Sorry. It’s in the diaper bag which I left at Babe’s,” Sara said. “Do you want to stop somewhere or can you wait until we get home?”

  “Sure. No problem.”

  Sara gave her a sidelong look. “Well, something’s wrong. Did you and Bo have a fight? Is that why he isn’t with you?”

  Claudie regretted not spending more time preparing an answer to that question instead of spending most of the flight second-guessing her decision to leave. “Bo’s mom and I talked about it and we decided he needed to spend some time alone with his dad.”