Back in Kansas Read online

  Val cut in. “Like I told you before. I’m not going to have kids. Kids make your life miserable. No thanks.”

  “But, don’t you even want something to remember Mom by?”

  Bo’s heart split down the middle at the little-girl quality in her voice.

  Val shook her head. “No. It’s your mother’s stuff, Claudie. My mother lives three blocks away, and, believe me, she wouldn’t be caught dead in any of that junk.”

  The put-down made Bo start to snarl, but Claudie seemed too moved by the unexpected gift to be offended. Bo looked at Val over Claudie’s head. Brat. She batted her lashes innocently.

  “We gotta hit the road, kiddo,” he said, taking Claudie’s elbow. She was so engrossed by the treasure chest, she didn’t even flinch when he put his arm around her shoulders and guided her to the driver’s side door. “Aren’t you going to tell your sister goodbye?”

  Claudie looked up as if coming back to reality. “Oh,” she said with a gulp. She shoved the box into Bo’s hands and dashed back to hug Val. “I’ll let you know what happens,” she called over her shoulder as she sprinted to the car. “Thanks for everything.”

  Bo placed the box in the back seat, fearful she’d be too distracted to drive safely. “You can go through it once I’m driving. Not before,” he said sternly.

  She gave him a goofy salute and got in the car. “Then let’s get going. It’s a long way to Kansas, you know.”

  Her impish grin stayed with him all the way to the rental shop. He and Matt had mapped out the trip before leaving New York. Two days on the road. One night. It wasn’t the days that worried him.

  “CAN YOU believe this traffic?” Bo said for the second time in ten miles.

  The sense of wonder in his tone made Claudie smile. They’d had a brief argument over whether to drive east and catch the interstate or take the same road Claudie had driven. Since Bo had insisted on driving, Claudie had acquiesced to his preference, and she was glad since he seemed so bemused by the lack of cars on the spacious, nicely groomed four-lane highway.

  “I’m sure it gets busy on weekdays. And tomorrow’s a holiday, don’t forget,” she reminded him.

  “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” He was quiet a moment then he swore and slapped his palm against the steering wheel, making Claudie jump.

  “What?”

  “Today’s the little guy’s birthday. I forgot to get him a present.”

  Claudie had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at Bo’s tormented tone. “I sent him two T-shirts and a dinosaur from the Black Hills, but I doubt if he got them in time. Ren and Sara were taking him to the coast for the long weekend.”

  Bo reached between the seats for the navy-blue parka he’d thrown to the back. He handed it to Claudie. “Get my cell phone out of the pocket would you?”

  She had to try three different pockets before she found it. Each pocket was an adventure. One was stuffed with bags of airline peanuts, the second with sugar packets—one of which had broken open. She got sticky grains under her fingernails. Sucking her fingers to remove the sugar, she held the small black phone in her other hand. “How do you know where to call? You know Ren won’t have his phone on.”

  When Bo didn’t answer, she looked up. He was staring at her fingers in her mouth. Her heart began to race, and she immediately shoved her hand under her butt. His gaze went straight back to the road, but Claudie could tell by his ruddy color he knew she’d guessed what he was thinking.

  “If we can’t get them on the cell, you can try Babe. She ought to know where they’re staying.”

  Claudie silently groaned. She wasn’t ready to talk to Babe Bishop. Although the woman had been nothing but supportive of Claudie recently, she still felt shy around her. And Claudie certainly didn’t want to explain this trip.

  Holding her breath, she punched in the phone number then listened to the ringing tone. Two rings. Three…

  “Hello.”

  “Ren?”

  “Claudie?”

  From the background came a loud, shrill cry followed by a muffled curse and thumping sound. “Claudie,” Sara cried, the joy in her voice causing tears to fill Claudie’s eyes. “It’s so good to hear your voice. How are you?”

  Claudie wasn’t sure she could speak without embarrassing herself so she said, “Bo wants to talk to you,” and passed the phone to her left.

  Obviously surprised and unprepared, he shifted slightly and took the phone. “Hi, Sara. I found her.”

  Claudie stared out the passenger window at the rolling farmland now sitting fallow. She’d passed through this country once or twice in her family’s many moves, and it felt comforting—like greeting an old friend. But, in reality, Claudie only had two friends: Sara and Keneesha. And she missed them both more than she thought possible.

  “I just remembered Brady’s birthday and we called to wish him happy birthday,” Bo was saying. “Put him on.”

  Bo leaned toward Claudie and motioned her closer with a nod of his head. She inched sideways until their shoulders touched. She felt the connection all the way to the soles of her hiking boots.

  He held the phone so they both could hear Brady’s excited jabber. Since Bo was trying to talk and steer, Claudie reached between them and took the phone from his fingers. A jolt of awareness overrode all incoming messages.

  “Slow down, honey boy, I can’t understand you. You touched a what?”

  “’Tar fish,” he cried. “Orange ’tar fish.”

  Claudie and Bo exchanged a look. “A star fish,” he mouthed.

  Her mouth went bone dry. What is wrong with me?

  Sara came on the line and Claudie sat back, giving herself some much needed space. This wasn’t like her at all. She’d been with Bo in the car dozens of time and nothing like this had ever happened.

  “What, Sara? I’m sorry. My mind’s a little out there.”

  “Understandable. It was probably quite a shock to see Bo. We were afraid you wouldn’t be too happy about him joining you.” Happy? Claudie wasn’t sure how she felt, but happy might actually be part of it, she thought. “But, you know Bo, once he made up his mind, there was no talking him out of finding you.”

  “It’s okay for now,” Claudie said, aware he was listening to her conversation. “I won’t kill him before we get to Kansas. Just in case the car breaks down again.”

  Bo’s lips pursed in a mock scowl.

  Sara’s voice dropped. “You’re not really going to kill anybody are you, honey?”

  Claudie started to laugh, but suddenly she understood Sara was serious. In a flash she realized her friend might have thought her intention was revenge. It crossed her mind to be mad, but only for a second.

  “Don’t worry, Sara. I’m not going to do anything stupid. I already have a brother in prison for vehicular manslaughter. I stopped to see him on my way, and believe me, I’m not in a hurry to go back there.”

  Sara’s sigh seemed mixed with tears. Ren came on the line. “I’m glad to hear you’re okay, kiddo,” he said. “Put that doofus friend of mine back on the line.”

  Claudie passed the phone to Bo. She tuned out the conversation, still thinking about Sara’s doubt. Did this mean her best friend in the world knew so little about her that she believed her capable of murder? Bo says I’m like a clam. Maybe it’s true.

  When the phone landed in her lap, she looked at Bo. He had a serious frown on his face that made her stomach contract. “Is something wrong?”

  He sighed.

  “Ren said Eve’s old agent called him. Apparently she heard about Eve leaving the network—”

  Claudie interrupted him. “She quit her job?”

  Bo nodded. “Looks that way.”

  Claudie shook her head. “I don’t believe it. Network was her dream job. She told me so herself when she was back for the wedding.”

  Bo shrugged. “Sounds like some guy came in and swept her off her feet. The only weird thing is, nobody’s heard from her since.”

  “Do y
ou think something happened to her?”

  “Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “She’s probably shacked up in some tropical love nest.”

  Claudie frowned. She couldn’t picture anyone less likely to succumb to a sweet-talking man than Eve—except herself. “Men always think that, don’t they?”

  “Think what?”

  She started to let it go—after all she was no fan of Eve Masterson’s even if Sara was willing to forget the woman had once been engaged to Ren, but instead she turned sideways in her seat to face him. “Men always think women are ready to give up their lives, their careers, their identity for a wedding ring and regular sex. Right?”

  “As opposed to no wedding ring and irregular sex?” he asked, shooting a quick glance her way.

  She stuck out her tongue. “You know what I mean.”

  “Not really.”

  She threw up her hands. “Isn’t that what normal people do? They grow up, go to school, meet someone then settle down for a nice, safe life.”

  “Didn’t you leave out the word boring?”

  She scowled at him even though he wasn’t looking at her.

  “Claudie, I know you well enough to figure out when you’re trying to pick a fight. If you want to yell at me for tracking you down and nosing in on your business, then go ahead and yell. But don’t try to confuse me by arguing about normal people. Frankly, I don’t give a damn about the normal people of the world. I do care about you.”

  “And I’m not normal. Is that what you’re saying?” She kept her tone even so he wouldn’t hear the little kid inside her who’d known from the earliest memory she was somehow different from her brothers and sisters. Different in a bad way.

  Instead of answering he hit the blinker.

  Claudie looked up surprised to see a rest area sign. She held her breath as the car decelerated and pulled to a stop well away from the other vehicles.

  Bo shut off the motor and turned to face her. “Claudie, you know you’re not like other people. Neither am I. Frankly, I don’t see that as a bad thing. We are who we are, and it gives us character.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “Maybe I would have liked things to be different growing up. My dad was a horse’s butt as fathers went, and yours was no prize winner, either.”

  Claudie leaned back against the door. The coolness of the window seeped through her sweater giving her a chill. “My father committed suicide,” she said.

  Bo’s bushy brows collided. “I beg your pardon?”

  “My real father. My mother fell in love with the minister’s son back in the town where she grew up. It was a small, mostly Scandinavian town in Wisconsin. They were both seventeen. When she found out she was pregnant, he offered to marry her, but his father wouldn’t hear of it. He claimed my mother seduced his boy. He sent my father away to a boarding school back east. It was very hush-hush. My mother was left to do the right thing, which in those days meant giving me up for adoption.”

  He ran his thumbnail along the seam of her leggings. The touch sent squiggly tendrils up and down her legs. “But she didn’t,” he said, prompting her to go on.

  “She was going to, but at the last minute she backed out. Her parents were furious. They told her she couldn’t bring me home because they had her two younger sisters to worry about and they didn’t want them contaminated by her loose morals.”

  Bo made a sound of disgust.

  Claudie shrugged. “Mother had a hundred dollars. She moved in with one of the nurses from the hospital. The St. James School for Unwed Mothers,” she added softly.

  He opened his mouth but didn’t say anything.

  “She was working as a waitress when she met my stepdad. Mom once told me Garret asked her to marry him before she could ask, ‘What’ll it be today?”’

  Bo leaned forward. “So she said yes, and your real father heard about it and committed suicide?”

  “Who’s telling this story? You’re as bad as Brady,” she scolded. “Actually, Garret, my stepfather, asked her to marry him once a week for four months—he only passed through town on his sales route once a week. She always turned him down. Until the day she talked to an old friend of hers back in Wisconsin and she found out my father had committed suicide in his dorm.”

  Bo sat back. “Wow. I didn’t know any of that.”

  “I don’t suppose it’s the kind of thing that shows up on a computer search.”

  “Did she ever reconcile with her parents?” he asked.

  Claudie shook her head. “Not that I know of, but she never blamed them for putting her out. She told me they were doing what they thought best, and as a parent sometimes you make tough decisions for the good of the children.” She didn’t bother trying to disguise her bitterness.

  “You think she was wrong?”

  “I think she was weak and selfish. Maybe if she’d given me up for adoption I’d have had a normal life—like Val. Instead I grew up watching her pump out babies like there was some kind of competition to make the most. She was pregnant something like ten times in twelve years. Three were miscarriages, and my little brother Timothy died at birth, but still she had six kids before she was thirty-five.”

  “Why do you think she wanted so many kids?”

  Claudie glanced in the back seat where her mother’s jewelry box sat. She felt slightly disloyal sharing her mother’s secret with Bo, but she figured it didn’t matter any more. “She told me that was the only way she could make it up to him.”

  At Bo’s puzzled look, she explained, “Mom felt she owed something to Garret because he loved her, but she never loved him. Even after giving Garret six kids, she still loved my father.” Claudie looked into his eyes and read the compassion she’d never known from another man. “That’s why he hated me. I reminded her of my father. Every day he had to live with that reminder.” She broke the contact and looked away. “I guess, you can kinda understand why he raped me.”

  “No,” Bo barked, startling Claudie with both the volume and the passion. “I can’t understand it, and I can’t wait to meet the bastard.”

  Claudie peeked around to see if anyone was looking. She wasn’t used to having someone defend her—it made her nervous. “Listen, Bo, I said you could come along with me because I knew you’d follow anyway, but I don’t want you sticking your nose into my business once we get there.”

  He rocked back, his face still flushed from anger. “Tough.”

  She blinked. “What did you say?”

  “I said tough. I’m here and I’m in it all the way.”

  “Not if I don’t want you there.”

  “Wrong.”

  Speechless, her mouth dropped open.

  He leaned forward, crowding her space. His breath was warm and smelled of coffee. “I’m here, Claudie, and I’m not about to let you face this jerk alone, even if you throw a hissy fit. People like your stepdad know only one way to operate—they tear you down. They find a way around your good, fine, logical arguments until they make you feel stupid and small and deserving of all the crap they gave you. He raped your spirit, your self-esteem, long before he ever physically touched you. And I plan to make damn sure he doesn’t get the chance to do it again.”

  Claudie couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t move without crumpling into a ball and weeping, so she sat very still and waited for him to move back. When he did, she opened the door. “I need to use the bathroom,” she said, after gulping in a deep breath of chilled air. “I’ll be right back.”

  She got out and closed the door. She walked briskly praying she could make it to the low brick building before she broke down completely.

  He caught up with her halfway there. His hand closed over her shoulder. She froze. “Claudie,” he said softly. He gently squeezed his fingers. “I’m sorry. That was—”

  Without thinking she spun around and threw herself sobbing into his arms. She didn’t want his apologies—she wanted something else. Something she couldn’t have—an ordinary life with an ordinary past. And with any luck…an o
rdinary future.

  CHAPTER SIX

  BO GLANCED to his right. Claudie had reclined the seat as far as it would go and was fast asleep, her head resting on his bunched-up coat just inches from his elbow. They’d stopped for gas and a couple of sodas in the town of Faribault, Minnesota. She’d tried reading the newspaper for a few miles but was obviously having a hard time staying awake so he’d suggested she nap.

  “Hey, you’re the one who slept on the floor last night. I should be driving so you can sleep,” she’d argued.

  Bo had insisted he wasn’t tired, and he hadn’t lied. For some reason, being around Claudie energized him. In New York, he’d had to force himself to trudge through the motions of looking for Eve and conducting his company’s business from Matt’s apartment. Last week on his trip to Las Vegas, he’d lacked the initiative to check out even one of the fancy new casinos. Life seemed to lack any purpose when Claudie was gone.

  That’s how Bo knew he was in love with her. He’d known since Vegas but hadn’t been ready to admit it until Zach called him on it. But there was no denying it now. The second she’d melted into his arms, her tears soaking his shirt, he was lost. Too far gone to even give a damn. His only problem was how to tell Claudie without totally freaking her out.

  His cell phone trilled just as they passed a sign announcing the Iowa border.

  “Is this my Welcome-to-Iowa call?”

  A familiar chuckle answered. “No, it’s the I-don’t-give-a-damn-where-you-are call.”

  “Sure you do. You’re my cousin. And my business partner.”

  “Maybe. We only have our mothers’ word on the first and I’m rethinking the second. So far this P.I. business is nothing more than racing around like a headless chicken.”

  Bo grinned. He checked his speed and eased his foot off the accelerator. “I disagree. I’ve had an excellent day. Not only was I treated to an aerial view of Minnesota, I found the woman of my dreams and even managed to scarf down eggs Benedict.”

  “Hey, that’s what I had for breakfast, too—mine came in a sack with a little toy. Bet yours didn’t.”